What do you think of the beginnings of my story?

Honestly? It's boring, and you've got sentences that don't make any sense. (The crowd of people roared and gave a standing ovation, for it was a hard piece, even though it was emotional.) (...she hadn't gotten to formal of an audience yet. - do you mean "too formal of an audience"?? - this, too makes no sense.) 13 year old should be written as 13-year-old. Figures, She thought should not have the She capitalized. This needs alot of work.